Fake News Desk

Jamaica Suspends Use of AstraZeneca Vaccine After Reports of Bludclarts

Jamaica has become the latest country to suspend use of the AstraZeneca Covid-19 vaccine, following in the footsteps of France, Italy and the Netherlands, after widespread reports of bludclarts.

After a bludclart reportedly left one man fi dead, health officials from the island nation have stated that ‘wi nuh need di bludcart AstraZeneca vaccine fi wi,’ and that they will look to alternative suppliers going forward.

While the cause of the bludclarts is still yet to be determined, senior Jamaican officials have already levelled accusations at the babylon dem, claiming that: ‘Di babylon wa fi kip wi dun an cause wi suffering but wi naah guh tuh tek it anymore.’ However, some ministers have urged the government not to make any hasty decisions, telling them to wait until they can confirm wah gwan.

Fears of bludclarts have brought the Jamaican vaccine rollout to a standstill.

Montego Bay resident Iriye Campbell was due to receive her AstraZeneca jab on Tuesday but after her appointment was pushed back due to the suspension, she began to have second thoughts, telling reporters : ‘Mi nuh a guh let di bludclart dem poison mi, ya seh mi? Eff dem cum at mi wid di neegle mi a guh run like Usain Bolt.’

Ultimately, we don’t yet know if the vaccine is causing these bludclart incidences, but if we’re to believe the European regulators, it’s safe to say that everyting irie.

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