Responding to the now-infamous “four-legged photo,” lawyers for Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor (formerly known as a prince) have confirmed that he was, in fact, playing Twister – a game he is said to have grown fond of while attending various teenage birthday parties.

“Look, he hasn’t put a foot wrong,” a spokesperson said, gesturing at the image. “Left leg, yellow. Exactly where it should be.

“Everything looks bad if you take photos of it anyway.”

Despite the photo literally showing Andrew being caught red-handed (in what seems more twisted than a casual spot of Twister), the game was assured to be light and playful, with the Duke barely breaking a sweat during the two-hour match-up.

Other key figures in the now infamous Epstein files were understood to have been relaxing elsewhere in the mansion at the time, with Jeffrey engaged in a hangman marathon and Ghislaine Maxwell halfway through watching ‘Human Traffic’, one of her favourite movies. Elon Musk was allegedly scratching at the door outside.

A source close to the ex-prince indicated that, although Andrew has yet to comment, he will soon come forward with various anecdotes of times he played Twister and an assurance that he has sworn off all mat-based games.

Behind the scenes, officials are understood to have hired KC Twista to defend Andrew in court. When challenged that he was an MC rather than a KC, Twista offered a rhyming rebuttal:

“Motion to dismiss how you twist that frame,
Exhibit A blurry, lack of burden of blame.
I object to the optics, prejudicial stance,
Freeze-frame fallacy, that’s circumstance.”