Dealers Selling ‘Coke Zero’ to Beat Dry January Slump

As Dry January continues to wreak havoc across the black market, some industrious entrepreneurs have found an ingenious solution that has Londoners lining up down the street. The supposed drug-free cocaine alternative that dealers have dubbed Coke Zero, or Nocaine in some circles, has proved an instant hit with nose-thirsty Londoners. Intentions for a sober four weeks likely began with good intentions, but many realised 31 days without … Continue reading Dealers Selling ‘Coke Zero’ to Beat Dry January Slump

Santa Facing Christmas Delays Amidst Elf Industrial Action

Just days before Christmas, families worldwide were shocked to learn their gifts may not arrive on time. Last-minute industrial action was unanimously voted through by ELF (Elvish Labourers Federation), a union comprising 90% of the Christmas workforce. Resentment has been simmering for decades, as rising demands for presents piled pressure on workers. ‘It’s been going on far too long,’ said ELF spokesperson Rimsheef Snucklefidget. ‘Everyone … Continue reading Santa Facing Christmas Delays Amidst Elf Industrial Action

Local Pet Shop Comes Out in Support of Israel

Yesterday evening, as intense fighting raged on across Israel and Gaza, Bognor Regis-based pet store, PetZone, published a statement announcing their unreserved support for Israeli forces. At 6 pm GMT, hours after posting an Israeli flag to their Instagram stories, PetZone published a strongly-worded statement to their Facebook page while also sending it out to their loyal 42-person-strong mailing list. In a move that’s sure … Continue reading Local Pet Shop Comes Out in Support of Israel