Fake News Desk

Royals Launch Foundation Range to Help Peasants Achieve ‘More Palatable’ Skin Tone

The Royal Family have partnered with high-end department store Harvey Nichols to launch their own ‘Royally Acceptable’ foundation range, which helps people achieve what they call ‘a more palatable skin tone.’ 

Inspired by Grandson Archie’s potentially concerning pigmentation, the Royal Family have released three different shades, White is Right, Hail the Pale and Ku Klux Tan. The latter of which has been particularly well received by the Duke of Edinburgh, as well as David Duke, with the former grand wizard describing the foundation as being a great complement to his white uniform, saying that ‘it really brings out my lies.’

Archie’s uncle, Prince William commented: ‘We are very much not a racist family, in fact, the only reason we launched the foundation was to help further equality. If everyone is white then everyone is equal. Not to us of course but you see my point.’

He added: ‘If black face is racist then the only logical conclusion would be to say that white face is anti-racist.’

With the foundation due to hit stores next week, Kate Middleton told reporters: ‘Me and William will be first in line’, a comment which prompted daggers from Prince Charles, who was perched behind her.

Elsewhere, response to the new range has been frosty to say the least with many anti-racism campaigners outraged at the notion of a ‘palatable skin tone.’ The marketing campaign is also understood to have suffered an early setback as the Royal Family had unsuccessfully tried to convince Oprah to wear the makeup during her earth shattering interview with Harry and Megan.

Prince Phillip commented on the launch saying: ‘The foundation gives us a chance to show the British public our true colours. Admittedly, the initial response has been a little mixed, a bit like our Archie, but we trust that the public will eventually come around to the idea that as a family, we’re really quite all white.’

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