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Fake News Desk

Priti Patel Approves Introduction of Killer Whales Into the English Channel

The Home Office announced today that it will be releasing hundreds of killer whales into the English Channel in an effort to curb illegal border crossings. Each one will be equipped with specially designed asylum-seeking missiles, the latest weapon in the war against immigration and a joint venture between the scientists at The Ministry for Defence and SeaWorld Florida. Project FOBH (Fuck Off Back Home) … Continue reading Priti Patel Approves Introduction of Killer Whales Into the English Channel

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Fake News Desk

London to Be Placed into Tier 5, Sharia Law

In an unprecedented move to slow down the spread of the coronavirus, London will become the first area of the country to be placed under Sharia Law. The move was announced earlier this morning with the new rules and corresponding sanctions set to come into place on Sunday. The uncharacteristically quick turnaround has left many confused, with the only guidance offered so far being a … Continue reading London to Be Placed into Tier 5, Sharia Law

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Fake News Desk

New Covid Variant Spreads Through Zoom Calls

Researchers at Oxford University have made an alarming discovery that a strain of the novel coronavirus has been shown to transmit over video calls. Alarm bells started ringing earlier this week when several cases of the new variant, Covid-19.2 Snow Leopard, were traced back to a tech firm’s Monday morning catch up, a meeting which unknowingly became a superspreader event. Concerns were raised the following … Continue reading New Covid Variant Spreads Through Zoom Calls

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