Fake News Desk

EXCLUSIVE: Armie Hammer Tried to Eat Me Out on SHOCKING First Date

An ex-lover of recently disgraced Hollywood actor Armie Hammer has released EXPLOSIVE details of a first date from hell.

‘Everything was fine at first,’ Estette Gardner told us, her loose sleeveless top revealing a STUNNING set of bite marks on her upper arm. ‘He said he would take me for dinner and we ended up at this really nice steak house.’

Signs of the Social Networks star’s unusual preferences surfaced early on during the date. He immediately started asking for the ‘special’ menu, having been advised by a friend that the restaurant offered some unusual cuts of meat. This was laughed off when he was told they didn’t, but a look of disappointment was visible.

‘He ordered two rare steaks, a rack of ribs, a lamb shank, and a Bloody Mary, which looking back seemed excessive. I just assumed he was hungry. ‘

‘The worst thing was I thought it was his treat, but the meal ended up costing me an arm and a leg.’

After watching the movie star demolish several animal carcasses Estette agreed to accompany Hammer back to his L.A penthouse.

‘He was really very charming, he told me he wanted to eat me out and I thought to myself oh what a gentleman.’

Despite these promises of oral copulation, Estette found herself being doused in sticky BBQ sauce by Hammer just minutes after arriving at his pad.

‘I felt a bit uncomfortable with the marinade all over me but when he got out the knife and fork and told me to get in the oven I knew something was wrong.’

‘Looking back on it the severed heads and discarded limbs lying around his house should have been a giveaway, but when you’re on a date with a movie star you tend not to notice these things.’

Following our exclusive interview with Estette other brave women have come forward, one claiming she was eaten by Hammer in a previous life.

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