Fake News Desk

Republicans Boycott Potatoes After Mr Potato Head Announcement

Following news that Hasbro will be rebranding Mr Potato Head as simply Potato Head in a bid to degender the beloved children’s toy, many right-wing commentators have been left unsurprisingly outraged. The move has left such a sour taste that some Republicans have called for a boycott on all potatoes.

‘What we see here is a typical attempt from a company to force their woke ideas on our children,’ seethed Alex Jones, the perpetually outraged host of Infowars.

‘This is why I am calling all freedom loving patriots to put down the chips, the mash and the baked potatoes, and show these radical lefties who’s boss. If you think you can play identity politics with my potatoes then you’ve got another thing coming, so help me God.’

A concerned parent pictured at a potato burning event in Maricopa County on Saturday.

It’s not just prominent Republican mouthpieces who appear to have been riled by this unholy tater-transition. Members of Congress also piled in to express their disgust and misplaced rage on social media. 

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene of Georgia took to Twitter, saying: ‘God made Mr and Mrs Potato, there weren’t no gay-tatoes. The only thing trans about my fries should be trans fats.’

Those comments only served to stoke the flames nationwide, as this past weekend in red states across the US, citizens held potato burning ceremonies amid fears that the root vegetable could be used to radicalise their children.

Attendee Debra Cole told us: ‘My daughter has eaten her last fry. Her momma didn’t raise no socialist,’ while another concerned parent chimed in, claiming that ‘potatoes are the root of all evil.’

1 comment

  1. Quinn! I can only assume that you’ve assigned your audience enough satirical sensitivity to “get” the visual side of this? Without a direct mention?

    The myopic, fixed-gender consciousness issue that Greene inflamed with her crass actions can indeed distract people from getting the visual play on Marjorie (Potato-Head) Green’s physical likeness to the 20th Century toy.

    But from someone who’s struggled to caricaturize the thick-skulled Trumplodyte, the Potato-Head vision does the trick.

    I’m reminded of when Muhammad Ali calling to “Peanut Head” Larry Holmes with true laughter.

    The shape of this woman’s head with the pale shade make the Potato Head moniker perfect!

    Like

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