The BBC has announced that it will be debuting its new flagship show ‘The Union Jack Hour’, next Monday on BBC One.
After the UK government accused the Beeb of displaying a flagitious lack of patriotism, the broadcaster has agreed to air one hour of uninterrupted flag action, each and every day, forever and ever, and ever.
Having been recently flagged and flagellated by BBC bosses for flagrant anti-flag sentiment, BBC Breakfast host Naga Munchetty was given a chance at redemption this morning as she announced the new show live from her bedroom which had been redecorated with tasteful Union Jack-style wallpaper and a government issue flagpole.
‘It’s an honour for me to announce that we will be starting each day with one hour of unfettered flag footage to get the country feeling great about itself again,’ she began, smiling begrudgingly as Rule Britannia played softly in the background.
The synopsis of the upcoming show, set to air from 7-8am every day, describes it as it as a montage of the Union Jack fluttering in the breeze, set to music patriotic enough to turn your blood red, white and blue.
Tory ministers applauded the idea with Robert Jenrick describing the move as ‘the best thing since imperialism’, while Prime Minister Boris Johnson described the show as: ‘A chance for us to sit back with a flagon of tea or British ale, and revel in our palpable Britishness.’
BBC director-general Tim Davie explained the logic behind the show’s inception, telling reporters: ‘To be honest, we just need to get our flags in wherever possible, outside of enriching their friends and starving small children, it’s the only thing that keeps the Tories happy.’