Tag: the queen

Fake News Desk

National Rail Pay Respects to Prince Philip, Translate Entire Website into Greek

Following the death of Prince Philip, the National Rail website has been translated entirely into Greek – a nod to the late Prince of Wales’ birthplace. The move has delighted royal fanatics and would-be rail passengers alike. ‘It’s such a fantastic idea,’ said Shirley Dawes, who was attempting to book tickets to see her elderly father, something which had been impossible in recent months due … Continue reading National Rail Pay Respects to Prince Philip, Translate Entire Website into Greek

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Queen Distraught Following Death of DMX

Her Majesty The Queen is understood to be beside herself following the death of her favourite rapper DMX. ‘His music helps me forget how boring my life is,’ Lizzie said in an official statement issued from her royal residence in Windsor. ‘While you peasants carry on living your lives, I’m stuck here, bored senseless, cutting ribbons and smiling at children’s awful paintings. X’s music made … Continue reading Queen Distraught Following Death of DMX

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Fake News Desk

Royals Launch Foundation Range to Help Peasants Achieve ‘More Palatable’ Skin Tone

The Royal Family have partnered with high-end department store Harvey Nichols to launch their own ‘Royally Acceptable’ foundation range, which helps people achieve what they call ‘a more palatable skin tone.’  Inspired by Grandson Archie’s potentially concerning pigmentation, the Royal Family have released three different shades, White is Right, Hail the Pale and Ku Klux Tan. The latter of which has been particularly well received … Continue reading Royals Launch Foundation Range to Help Peasants Achieve ‘More Palatable’ Skin Tone

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