Tag: tory nepotism

Fake News Desk

Boris Johnson Launches Secret Charity to Fund ‘World-Beating’ Wallpaper

According to reports, Boris Johnson is planning to set up a secret charity to help cover the costs of refurbishing his home at No 11 Downing Street, allowing rich Tory benefactors to exchange designer furniture for opportunities to screw over the general public. The name of his new charity has reportedly already been decided. Having batted around names such as Chancer Care UK and Betraying … Continue reading Boris Johnson Launches Secret Charity to Fund ‘World-Beating’ Wallpaper

Unknown's avatarLee innitLeave a comment
Fake News Desk

Priti Patel Approves Introduction of Killer Whales Into the English Channel

The Home Office announced today that it will be releasing hundreds of killer whales into the English Channel in an effort to curb illegal border crossings. Each one will be equipped with specially designed asylum-seeking missiles, the latest weapon in the war against immigration and a joint venture between the scientists at The Ministry for Defence and SeaWorld Florida. Project FOBH (Fuck Off Back Home) … Continue reading Priti Patel Approves Introduction of Killer Whales Into the English Channel

Unknown's avatarQuinn1 Comment
Fake News Desk

Matt Hancock’s Family Dog Awarded £16m Covid Contract

In what’s only the latest case of recent Conservative nepotism, leaked documents have revealed that Matt Hancock’s family dog, Archie, was awarded a £16m contract for services linked to the government’s failed track and trace programme. The documents dating back to last August show the Health Secretary’s beloved Labrador receiving £6.3m for tracking consultancy, £5.9m for tracing consultancy, and a further £3.8m in fees for … Continue reading Matt Hancock’s Family Dog Awarded £16m Covid Contract

Unknown's avatarLee innit4 Comments