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Fake News Desk

Trump Impeachment Attorney Replaced by ‘I’m Not a Cat’ Lawyer

Donald Trump has decided to seek alternative legal counsel, having been left infuriated by Bruce Castor’s meandering performance at yesterday’s impeachment trial. Short of options, Trump contacted the first lawyer he could find on Google, who just so happened to be Texas attorney and internet sensation, Rod ‘I’m not a cat’ Ponton. This won’t be the first time Trump has attempted to grab a pussy, … Continue reading Trump Impeachment Attorney Replaced by ‘I’m Not a Cat’ Lawyer

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Fake News Desk

EXCLUSIVE: Armie Hammer Tried to Eat Me Out on SHOCKING First Date

An ex-lover of recently disgraced Hollywood actor Armie Hammer has released EXPLOSIVE details of a first date from hell. ‘Everything was fine at first,’ Estette Gardner told us, her loose sleeveless top revealing a STUNNING set of bite marks on her upper arm. ‘He said he would take me for dinner and we ended up at this really nice steak house.’ Signs of the Social … Continue reading EXCLUSIVE: Armie Hammer Tried to Eat Me Out on SHOCKING First Date

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Fake News Desk

Tyson Fury and Anthony Joshua to Administer Covid-19 Jab

In a bid to speed up the UK’s vaccine rollout, the government have recruited heavyweight champions Anthony Joshua and Tyson Fury to help administer the Covid-19 jab. Explaining the decision, Matt Hancock told reporters: ‘If we’re going to achieve our aim of having everyone vaccinated by August, then we’re going to have to increase the speed of the jab, and who better to help us … Continue reading Tyson Fury and Anthony Joshua to Administer Covid-19 Jab

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