Tag: satire

Fake News Desk

Baby Yoda Racially Abused by Gina Carano During Mandalorian Filming

Shocking new details have arisen regarding Gina Carano’s departure from Lucasfilm, with sources claiming she racially abused Grogu, better known as Baby Yoda, on the set of Disney+ show The Mandalorian. The incident reportedly took place on the final day of filming for season 2, and while the details are foggy, it’s believed that Grogu was caught stealing a protein shake from Carano’s locker, causing … Continue reading Baby Yoda Racially Abused by Gina Carano During Mandalorian Filming

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Fake News Desk

Matt Hancock’s Family Dog Awarded £16m Covid Contract

In what’s only the latest case of recent Conservative nepotism, leaked documents have revealed that Matt Hancock’s family dog, Archie, was awarded a £16m contract for services linked to the government’s failed track and trace programme. The documents dating back to last August show the Health Secretary’s beloved Labrador receiving £6.3m for tracking consultancy, £5.9m for tracing consultancy, and a further £3.8m in fees for … Continue reading Matt Hancock’s Family Dog Awarded £16m Covid Contract

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Fake News Desk

Trump Impeachment Attorney Replaced by ‘I’m Not a Cat’ Lawyer

Donald Trump has decided to seek alternative legal counsel, having been left infuriated by Bruce Castor’s meandering performance at yesterday’s impeachment trial. Short of options, Trump contacted the first lawyer he could find on Google, who just so happened to be Texas attorney and internet sensation, Rod ‘I’m not a cat’ Ponton. This won’t be the first time Trump has attempted to grab a pussy, … Continue reading Trump Impeachment Attorney Replaced by ‘I’m Not a Cat’ Lawyer

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Fake News Desk

Tyson Fury and Anthony Joshua to Administer Covid-19 Jab

In a bid to speed up the UK’s vaccine rollout, the government have recruited heavyweight champions Anthony Joshua and Tyson Fury to help administer the Covid-19 jab. Explaining the decision, Matt Hancock told reporters: ‘If we’re going to achieve our aim of having everyone vaccinated by August, then we’re going to have to increase the speed of the jab, and who better to help us … Continue reading Tyson Fury and Anthony Joshua to Administer Covid-19 Jab

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Fake News Desk

New Covid Variant Spreads Through Zoom Calls

Researchers at Oxford University have made an alarming discovery that a strain of the novel coronavirus has been shown to transmit over video calls. Alarm bells started ringing earlier this week when several cases of the new variant, Covid-19.2 Snow Leopard, were traced back to a tech firm’s Monday morning catch up, a meeting which unknowingly became a superspreader event. Concerns were raised the following … Continue reading New Covid Variant Spreads Through Zoom Calls

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